


You, Me, and the Baobab Tree

by Pitry



Category: Sarah Jane Adventures
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-29
Updated: 2011-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-26 19:11:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pitry/pseuds/Pitry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bloomin' Lovely are now making deliveries all the way to the Horse-Head Nebula. Regular fees apply.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You, Me, and the Baobab Tree

It all started on a Wednesday. It wasn't a unique wednesday, nothing out of the ordinary, or so Sarah Jane thought before she heard the deafening knocks on her door.

"I'm coming!" she called, but whoever it was kept on knocking, as if they were trying to bring her door down. "I'm coming!" she shouted again as she went down from the attic. Luckily, she got there before her door went completely off-hinges, although she was willing to swear afterwards she could see more sunlight through the cracks than there ever was before.

Things didn't get better when she opened the door. Behind it was an alien - a big alien. At least eight feet in height, and brilliant yellow and green, the thing handed her a piece of paper and said, "Roses."

"I beg your pardon?" she asked, confused.

"Roses. Two Dozens. Red and White. Good For Every Occasion. A Good Compliment For Lady Friend. Sweet Smell. Extra-Strong Stems. 30% Discount. Have Order. X-5763-J-9."

Before she could even think of an answer, the person who was most likely the culprit crossed the road, holding roses. Sarah Jane was willing to bet there were exactly 24 of them. "Oh, hi, Sarah my darling!" Gita exclaimed, and then turned to - "Guilo, right? Got your roses right here with me!"

"Thank You," Guilo took the roses from her. "Very Beautiful. Sweet Smell. Lady Friend Would Like. Here Price," he handed Gita two notes of £10 each. "Fair Price. Very Happy Was In Neighbourhood. Deliveries?" He said in a hopeful tone.

"Oh, I'm sorry, my darling, not yet. I don't have a spaceship, you see," she laughed a bit at her own joke.

But Guilo's disappointed green face brightened up considerably. "Have Cousin," he said. "Sells Spaceships. Very Affordable Price. Give Number?"

"Oh!" Gita sounded truly excited. "That'd be marvellous, my darling. That would make my day."

"Leave Now. Thank You," Guilo said, and then looked at the roses for a moment. "Receipt?" He asked, and then explained, "Tax Deductible."

"Oh, right you are my darling, there you go."

"Hold on for a moment," Sarah Jane turned to Guilo. "How did you get Earth money?"

"Exchange In Oxford Street. Very Decent People. Also Had Lunch. Japanese Restaurant. Only Deliveries In London, Too," he said sadly, and then brightened up again. "Think They Expand?"

It was several moments after Guilo disappeared that Sarah Jane realised the full meaning of what had just transpired before her eyes. When it did, she turned to Gita, but before she could open her mouth, her neighbour was already talking. "Isn't he marvellous? Very lovely man. And it would be such a good thing if he tells his cousin about me! Imagine that! A spaceship! I could do deliveries all the way to Alpha Centuari! D'you think it's easy to drive a spaceship?"

"Gita," Sarah Jane used her friend's need to breathe to get in a word, "you can't go on selling flowers to - aliens!"

"Why not?" Gita asked, confused.

"Because they're aliens! Earth doesn't have trade treaties yet, most people have only ever seen the Daleks!"

"Well, it's a good opportunity then, to start trade relations! Imagine this! Maybe I would be the ambassador for Mars or something," Gita's eyes glazed, no doubt imagining her days as an ambassador in royal balls somewhere on the other side of the galaxy.

"How did he hear about you?" Sarah Jane asked.

"Oh, I put an advert in a galactic newspaper. Anyways, gotta go! More orders would be coming any second now!"

The worst thing was that more orders _did_ come. Three days later, another alien showed up, highly resembling Guilo. He must be his cousin, Sarah Jane realised.

"Hello, my dear lady. I am Guilo, of the Guilo Federation. My dear cousin has given me the directions to your delightful home, to discuss business."

"Oh," was all Sarah Jane could muster. "I think you're looking for Gita."

"And where would I find this delightful lady of which you speak?" Guilo asked.

"Well, she found you," Sarah Jane said weakly. Indeed, Gita was already crossing the road.

"Oh, you must be Guilo's cousin!" she said.

"Oh, no. _I_ am Guilo. My cousin is named Guilo."

The two women stared at each other. "That's what I just said," Gita murmured.

"No, you said something completely different!" he objected. "He is named Guilo, with a _u_ , while I am named Guilo, with a _u_!"

The two women stared at each other again. "Well, thank you for correcting me, Mr. ... Guilo," Gita tried, but obviously failed - Mr. Guilo could not suppress a small smile.

"You have just said you are a small asteroid full of precious stones," he said.

"Oh, well, never mind that! Your cousin told me you deal in used spaceships?"

"Oh, yes! And I can show you the most exquisite models, for a very fair price! But first, I require your help, my dear lady. You see, I have read in this most intriguing book of Baobab Trees," he handed her a worn-out copy of _The Little Prince_ , "and I would very much like to acquire one."

"Well," said Gita doubtfully, "I think there are some in Madagascar..."

"I have seen the Madagascar ones. They are insufficient. They are not as big as the one described in the book."

"Oh," Sarah Jane couldn't help but laugh. "It's just a book."

"Yes," Guilo nodded. "Very educational."

"But it's not real!"

"It is a book!" Guilo insisted. "Educational!" and then, as he seemed to have decided no help would come from Sarah Jane, he turned to Gita. "Mrs. Chandra, I would be willing to pay any price for such a tree. Please, can you help me?"

"Well, let's see," she answered, and walked into Sarah Jane's house - to Sarah Jane's horror, straight to the attic.

"Mr. Smith!" she called. "I need you!"

Mr. Smith left his hideout in the wall with the regular fanfare, and Sarah Jane made a mental note to have a stern conversation with him about whose calls he should answer.

"Yes, Gita?" he asked pleasantly.

"Well, this lovely gentleman here is looking for a big Baobab tree, like in _The Little Prince_. Can you tell me where I can find one?"

"The Baobab trees as described by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, also known as Adansoina Magnificia, grow in the outer regions of the solar system's asteroid belt. However, I must warn you that these trees are very dangerous. They grow very fast and into very large trees, and have been known to destroy the asteroids on which they grow."

"Thank you, Mr. Smith," Gita said, and Mr. Guilo shot Sarah Jane a look that could only be interpreted as 'I told you so', no matter what species you're from.

If Sarah Jane hoped things would calm down in the following weeks, her hopes went unanswered. Not even the cat-lady - "Well I told you, Robbie, this lady can't sell us marijuana, it's illegal on this planet! Would you explain that to him again, Mrs. Chandra?" - deterred Gita in her quest for galactic domination through the power of flowers.

Sarah Jane's patience finally ran out when the Tardis materialised one day in Gita's garden.

"Hello, Sarah!" he called and then proceeded to knock on Gita's door.

"Oh, hello there, you must be the Doctor!" Gita said happily and gave him a bag full of strawberry seeds. "You go save those colonists, Doctor! Don't worry about the price," she winked at Sarah Jane. "They're colonists from the future, you see. Trying to create strawberry fuel, but strawberries have been extinct for millions of years, apparently! Isn't that a shame!" The Doctor nodded. "Anyway, the Doctor's willing to give them the seeds, and they paid me by giving me some tips about investing the money I got from the Baobab."

Sarah Jane looked at the Doctor in horror. "You're going along with this?"

"Come on, Smith! They need the fuel! And it's very friendly to the environment."

"And you tell that cute couple that's travelling with you, if they want any more daffodils, I just got this new shipment, they're lovely!"

The Doctor smiled. "I'll be sure to give them your message," he said. "Anyway, gotta run, things to do, planets to save, eco-friendly strawberry fuel to create!"

He then walked into the Tardis and disappeared. Sarah Jane stared at the place the Tardis had stood on only a moment ago, and sighed. Well, if the Doctor has no problems... "Gita," she said quietly, trying to convince herself it was the best thing to do, "if you need Mr. Smith's help in contacting your costumers - well, I don't know if he can contact people through time, but he certainly communicates with aliens in this period, and I thought - "

"Oh, thanks, my darling," Gita smiled. "He's already helping me. I knew you wouldn't mind."

Sarah Jane stared for a little bit longer, and then walked back into her house and straight to the attic. It was going to be a _very_ long conversation.


End file.
